2fat2getpreggo

Sorry this is giong to be pretty short. I meant to blog last night, but I went out for my run instead of sitting at the computer. i thought it was a good choice. After my run I had to hurry up and pack my bag b/c I drove up to my parents house (an hour) and stayed overnight since we left at 4am to head to the hospital for my mom to have ankle surgery. It has been a long day, but I keep telling myself how great I did for making sure I got my workout in last night instead of making an excuse. I am not thrilled with my lunch that I ate, 2 McDoubles and a couple of fries. But, it is what it is and I am not going to get down on myself.  Not sure what time we will get home tonight since she is still in surgery as I type. Plus its a 2 hr drive back to the house, and I’m praying that we don’t get stuck in rush hour traffic. Hope all my buddies are having a great day!!!

Things are going pretty well for me…other than the number on the scale. On Monday I stepped on the scale and it said 213. I almost pissed myself. WTF, get your shit together, you’re on the track back to HELL. I got into work and TOM arrived, day 60…like a MFER. I have terrible cramps, I am absolutely exhausted, craving carbs and grease. Told hubbs that I need him to keep me in check. Yesterday, I ate good. Well, pretty good. My MIL made homemade chocolate cake…and let me tell you, her cake is ridiculously amazing. I had no will power to say no. I had a couple bites (vowing to eat no more than half) before we ate dinner, for dinner I ate MUCH better than had been doin in the past meals. I did eat the rest of the cake….and man, it was delicious.
Today, I managed to say NO to a donut. I delivered a dozen down to one of my shops today and the guys were all trying to get me to eat one with them. I was proud that I could say no. I have had a hard time lately, and I HATE that I am turning to food. So, I am attemping to get it together, the food portion is still my struggle, but I am trying to take it eat meal at a time.
On the exercise side, I am doing good! Last night I went for my week 2 day 1 C25K. Not gonna say I did a great job on running it, but I didn’t give up. I kept going. I found the best place ever for me to run, but the hills are really tough for me…I just started outdoors, and now i’m running thru a state park, and it’s the perfect time of year, nobody is there yet for summer activity. I saw 4 deer, and one I was within 2 feet of. It was such a cool feeling. Tonight, I had my X-training. I laid on the couch, barely moving and I just really did not want to move. I peeled my ass off the couch and called my MIL and we went for a bike ride together. It was pretty windy, and at one point on the path, my MIL said she couldn’t keep going, so I went and finished the end of the path and came back. During that time, I went as hard and fast as I could. I HATE feeling this bloated, and groggy. TOM is EVIL this month, it always kind of kicks my ass, but this time has been a doozy! But, I am going to keep fighting the fight, and remembering the things that I am doing right instead of putting myself down for the slip ups that I make. I said no to the donut, even under pressure, and the glorious smell that had me under a brief spell as I smelled them! I am exercising on a regular basis, and I WILL get it together!!!!!!! I need to get on and blog more regular. That is what helped me be successful! With the support of my friends, this needs to come to the front of my mind again!

This week has been pretty stressful. I can proudly say that I have been exercising on the regular though! It’s the way I’m coping with things. I get angry and then I put it into my workouts. Eating has been semi decent. Hubbs and I used to have lunch together every day, and now that he’s not in town, I have been having a hard time eating my lunch. He packs a Healthy Choice meal every day, and I haven’t eaten it yet this week. Luckily he packs me an orange and a yogurt, and I eat an egg sandwich on a mcmuffin (sorry can’t remember the real name!) for breakfast on my way out of the door. So I don’t feel like I’m starving myself by any means. he got after me last night about it, I told him that I am at least eating every couple of hours. Here’s how the last couple days have gone.
7am-Egg Sammie
10am-half an orange
1pm-yogurt
3pm-other half of orange
6pm-regular evening meal and my portions are probably bigger than they should be. (probably 700 calories) 
10pm-night snack (200 calories)

So I don’t think that I’m doing anything terrible to my body by not eating more calories at Noon. I know it’s not a good habit to stay in…
TOM still hasn’t come. DR said that he’s giving me some pills to take to make me get it. SUPER excited about that! He made me test again this morning to make sure it didn’t pop up positive.
3 days until the annivesary party! Looking forward to taking pictures and enjoying the day with my family!

Every night this week I have ridden my bike, a couple of nights I have went running. I love going on bike rides with lil man, he can keep up now and we just have a blast racing and laughing while we bike around our small town.
Hubbs started running during the day I guess. I asked him if next week he wouldn’t go with me while lil man is gone. Just something we can do together. I am so proud of him that he’s exericising! I think it will do wonders for his self esteem….and maybe even get him to quit smoking!!! A girl can dream that’s for sure.

Thank you to my buddies that commented on my last blog. I am so thankful to have your support!!!! It definitely gives me a great deal of comfort, and I just wanted to say THANKS!!!!!

While life is very stressful right now, I am trying to make concious efforts to continue to exercise and trying to eat right. I am glad I have my exercise to drown my sorrows in!!!!! I am just going to keep pushing, and I WILL come out on top!!!!! 

I am like a lot of my other buddies, I am struggling right now. Hubby’s job was eliminated on Friday. We live in a pretty rural area that it might be tough for him to find something else. We are restricted to this area b/c of his son, lil man. I can’t imagine leaving him…his mom doesn’t do ANYTHING with him, and it isn’t a guarantee that we would get full custody of him (MN is a EFFED up state) since he does have a brother and sister that he’s grown up with there. So I’ve been a bit anxious about that.
And to top it off, TOM is late. I’m on day 46. I had some spotting last week, and maybe that’s all that I will get this month. I have taken 2 HPT that have both come up negative. Hubbs was totally convinced that I was, especially when he lost his job. One of the first things he said after he told me was “Well, this should confirm it, just when we’re not trying and we’re not in a spot to have a baby…now I bet you for sure are!”.  Last test was Sunday morning. So I am pretty sure that’s it’s probably just stress. but come on already…

I went for my first ever outdoor run last week…felt pretty good, but I didn’t seem to get very far. I should have walked more than I ran, but I didn’t. I think I pushed myself too much. BUT, when I had my PT, she had me running on the treadmill, and I ran for almost 10 minutes straight. Why could I run then, but not on my own? I think it’s b/c I don’t have something to prove to myself? I don’t know. I feel like I’m in a bad spot mentally as far as weight loss is concerned. Scale said 207…effing YOYO. I am trying not to stress eat. I keep telling myself that we will be ok with him being on unemployment. And I know this, but I am just anxious I guess. maybe it’s just the change in general or whatnot?  I am hoping he will go back to school. I just keep telling myself that God won’t give us mroe than we can handle.
Tonight, I am needing to go out for a run again! I am hoping to find a running buddy. I need someone else to push me I think! So let’s hope that will work!!!

HELLO BUDDIES!!!!! Life’s been wild and crzy. I’m on the home computer, so we are A specil tonight. Well, to strt, I m on track. I did enjoy my vacation to the fullest nd over did it. I did do a TON of walking and exercise while we were there. I think we walked literlly 7 miles a dy. it ws awesome. on this vcation we were way more ctive thn ever before. First night I got 4 hrs of sleep, nd the next dy I ws up nd rering to go nd we probbly wlked 3 miles tht dy. We walked long the beach, checked out a ton of site by foot. walked down to the pier from our hotel room (1 mile wy) a couple times the day that we were there, and tht ws fter we went hiking in the Californi State Parks. It ws awesome walking long the ocean nd climbing up those crzy hills nd not even be tired out. I just really liked how active we were able to be. My feet hurt by the end of the dy. We put a lot of miles on, nd it ws AMZING!
NEXT VERY IMPORTNT ITEM:
PT–I cme back nd they are sying that both of my toes are ble to go to 70 degrees. I work with this AWESOME chick, she WORKS me. When I leave, I have to have the windows open, AC on high on my drive back to work, nd then I chnge there nd my fce is still bright red. Yesterdy, I WS RUNNING ON THE TREADMILL! I was up to 5.0 and I ran for 5 minutes straight!!!! OMG SUCH A RUNNERS HIGH!!!!!!!! It felt so damn good. I ws SUPER pumped!!!!! I think I am really on the mend with my foot. I told her that night I was going to do zumba on my Wii. She told me to be careful nd make sure I iced my foot. That night I ended up doing like n hour of zumba, not sure how many calories I burned. we just went thru the moves for 30 minutes, nd then did  20 minute workout. We hd a lot of fun,I am NOT very coordinated, but it did get my heartrate up with my laughter included.
On the downfll…the scale hs been showing 206. Yo-Yo! But, it’s my own fault. I need to be more discplined in my eating. I had a slip up with Vacation…nd EASTER. We get  very limited amount of candy for lil man. Not that we’re trying to deprive him,but he doesn’t et it! and then I DO!!!!!! We got him a soccer bll and bathtub stuff, bubbles and things like tht insted. but we did get him 2 bunnies this year since tht ws his candy…he ate the bunny ers off one, nd then i sat next to my bed stand. well…that didn’t last long…and I was WEAK…I am expecting my period any day. I just needto buckup. I am getting back into the swing of things though. My biggest problem is at night. Tonight I have done pretty well, I did an hour of zumba on the wii, and then we went for a bike  ride. My legs were BURNING! Tomorrow I have PT gain,and then I want to do Shred it with Weights video again. I miss my strength trining, I can’t wait to feel STRONG again! 
Oh, My PT told me tht she loves when I come in b/c I workreally hard. She wants to stop for water, I tell her to keep going, let’s do the next activity. She gets me a towel for the sweat rolling off my face. nd I feel like I deserve it when she ices me down. FEELS GOOD!!!!!

WHERE ARE YOU FROM?
Minnesota

DO YOU HAVE ANY KIDS & IF SO HOW MANY?
Yes, my step son, who is the most amazing kid EVER

WHAT IS YOUR OCCUPATION?
manager at a rental car location

ARE YOU MARRIED & IF SO HOW LONG?
yes, Since Nov of 2008

WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE FOOD?
Too many to list…FRUIT, pizza, chocolate, mexican food, ice cream…and I wonder why I’m on here!!!!

DO YOU HAVE ANY BROTHERS OR SISTERS?
Three sisters

WHERE IS YOUR FAVORITE VACATION SPOT?
San Diego, CA or Mexico

WHAT’S YOUR FAVORITE MOVIE?
Blow

PICK JUST ONE WORD TO DESCRIBE YOURSELF:
Blunt

HOW DID YOU MEET YOUR SIGNIFICANT OTHER?
He damaged a rental car and then tried to get out of it.

WHEN/WHERE WAS THE LAST PLACE YOU HAD A COMPLETE BREAKDOWN?
When I found out we were miscarrying again.

YOUR FRIEND JUST MOONED YOU. ARE YOU GROSSED OUT?
Nope, I’d laugh and hope lil man wasn’t there

WHERE IS THE LAST PERSON YOU KISSED?
School–cause I kissed his forehead this morning running out the door

DO YOU HAVE MONEY?
Not rich by any means.

WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING FORWARD TO?
Getting into ONEderland…and vacation next week

ARE YOU EXPECTING A PHONE CALL?
Hoping not to get one since I’m at work!

DO YOU HAVE A SONG STUCK IN YOUR HEAD?
YesLYRICS FROM THAT SONG?
“Rumor has it I’m the one you’re leaving her for!” (Adele)—Thanks MJ!!!!!

Little man got his new bike on Friday…which meant that we went for about 50 bike rides this weekend!!! It ws AWESOME!!!!!! I loved tht he is able to keep up with me more, nd we did plenty of racing. It was SO FUN!
I worked outside today raking leaves, nd cleaning out the rea that we re using for out stick pile for the summer cmp fires. took 6 more bags to the dump. Didn’t even break  a sweat doing that kind of thing nymore.
We colored eggs tonight, and are just sitting down to watch tv for the first time ll day. It’s good to be busy!!!!! I m so glad for the energy to be able to do those things!!!!

Had PT again today. She said she saw significant improvement. She said if I kept going at the rate that I am, she will only need to see me next week. I have to go 3 times next week, and I see her on my last visit…and she said that she didn’t see any problem to have me up and running by then. They have an indoor treadmill, and they would just work on my foot strike with me. Overall, SUCH a good feeling that I am getting better. She told me she could tell I have serious drive and determination, and she said that’s half the battle!!!!

I heart my strength training days. I did 30 minutes of  kettlebell workout tonight. I like that I go with the more advanced moves now instead of the beginner ones. I hve been working hard with my toe, and I m seeimg some improvement. I just need to keep with it nd work hard so I can get bck to where I need to be.
I just love how empowered those exercises mke me feel nd when I get done I hve a serious sense of pride thru all that sweat. I forget bout my dys problems, I focus on how I could do better in that, nd other things in my day to day life. I think better the dys I exercise. This is why I am doing this, Im giving myself, and my family a better life. My little guy is way more ctive, and he loves to do those things with me, nd I m gld I can keep up and do them with him. I may be a size 14, but I can MOVE!!!!!!! I don’t get tired, and those are the best things ever. I m so gld that I have mde my lifestyle change…I am committed for life.

I have my first PT tonight after my surgery. I was done thinking I could just fix it on my own. She measured how far my toe could move, it needs to be at 35 degree angle in order to run, and I am at 12. She worked the hell out of it today, and some of it REALLY hurt, but when I was done, I felt much better.
The doctor had suggested these Dansco shoes, so I got them, and the PT said she didn’t think that they were the best choice for me since they had a slight heel and it makes me have more pressure on my feet. Don’t know how that made me feel, but by the end of PT I think she said I was in the 20’s. SO…my plan. Do PT and work my toe hard core at home since I have to go to PT 3 times a week, and get to the 35. She didn’t think that I would have a problem with being able to run again, she was also a runner, and she told me I really inspired her and she hoped that I was able to run the 5K like I have been wanting.  I am feeling so much more hopeful that I will be able to get back to running!!!!!
Have been doing a workout video “Shred it with Weights” with Jillian. I LOVE this video. Except, it is a burned dvd, so at the 17 minute mark it gets stuck. So I have been doing quite a bit of bike riding since the weather here is nice enough, easy on the toe and no impact! I am seriously feeling like I am back…and I WILL be running in no time…my goal is to be able to go for a run in LA when we go in 2 weeks, probably won’t be a real long run, but I at least want to get out and run near the ocean! And then hoping to sign up for a race in June. I CAN DO THIS!!!!!!!! And I can’t wait to prove to myself that I can!!!! I am going to be focusing a lot on running, bike riding, and weights. I think I have been neglecting the strength training, and when I do strength training, I feel SO empowered. I can’t even describe how good it makes me feel!!!!!! I’m going with what makes me feel great, and what I really enjoy.